I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
