Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
