We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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