Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize