They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
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Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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