if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
