mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
