Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
