Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There r osticjed everywhere
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
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