why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
vagina is talking i cant
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
