super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
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Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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