im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
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Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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