They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
