there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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