I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think my moral compass just broke
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
