WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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