So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
