my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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