So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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