how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
