The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
