Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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