I think I died a long time ago.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
