I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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