you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize