So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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