He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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