no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
