its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
