either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
