wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
