Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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