You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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