id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
