is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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