He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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