your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
