they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
