remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize