They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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