absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
