i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
