and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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