Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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