haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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