yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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