she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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