I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
