i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
its liver damage thursday
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
