Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize