i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize