I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
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Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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