Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
organizing the empties. That sober.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
