I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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