you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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