Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
