Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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