Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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