You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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