She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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