note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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