His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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