Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
